Drive-Time Thoughts

"Me myself, I've got nothing to prove"

(Thanks to Tracy Chapman)

My mother has frequently said that my blessings are my empathy, my strength, my compassion, and my forgiveness, as well as my knack with words, open mind and generous heart.

She also has stated that my most dangerous qualities were my empathy, my strength, my compassion, and my forgiveness, as well as my knack with words, open mind and generous heart; I do not hold grudges, but tend to hold injuries and hurt close and silently inside. I do forgive... I just never forget!

Today’s analysis:

On both counts my mother is right.

RSM

14 October 2016

U’Netaneh Tokef

On this Yom Kippur Eve… My reflections based on High Holiday liturgy

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(On Rosh Hashanah it is written, and on Yom Kippur it is sealed.

How many will pass and how many will be created?

Who will live and who will die?
Who in their time, and who not their time?
Who by fire and who by water?
Who by sword and who by beast?
Who by hunger and who by thirst?
Who by earthquake and who by drowning?
Who by strangling and who by stoning?
Who will rest and who will wander?
Who will be safe and who will be torn?
Who will be calm and who will be tormented?
Who will become poor and who will get rich?
Who will be made humble and who will be raised up?
But teshuvah and tefillah and tzedakah (return and prayer and righteous acts)
deflect the evil of the decree.)

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This has been a year of Destruction, a year of dissolution, a year of devastation.

We have watched lands crumble, waters rise, air gyrate;
seen friendships disintegrate, families collapse, and lives ruined.

What part have we played in this maelstrom?

People are in pain, loss, fear, sorrow…
What role have we played in their relief?

For any share I have played in their misery…
Forgive me, Pardon me, Grant me Atonement

I want, I try, I need to forgive them in turn for any unhappiness others have brought to me by their actions, words, deeds.

We have allowed people to barely survive in squalor, 

ignored those reaching out in need.

We have not been concerned for those whose lives were nightmares, dying with their dreams unlived.

We have given no thought to those who lived without beauty in their lives, dying with their music unwritten, their art undrawn, or their words unscripted.

We are obliged, as human beings to repair the world, especially as we are the most avid destroyers of her. Tefillah (meditation), Teshuvah (efforts to change ourselves and repair our relationships), and Tzedakah (charity) as well as Gemilut Chasidim (deeds of loving kindness) are our tools for that healing.

Look inward; strive to be, give to others of help and your compassion, and be an enlightened soul…

Ronda R. Scott-Marak
©11 October 2016

10th of Tishrei, 5777

“Every day, several times a day, a thought comes over me”

(With thanks to Woody Guthrie)

I feel like the little Dutch boy trying to keep the dyke from collapsing;

I can hear the roar, and feel the power
behind the steady drip and gush around my too slight fingers.

There is a never-ending torrent behind the crumbling wall,
the crack of looming collapse, the rush of catastrophe and ruin.

So much, and so many depending on my slowing down the storm, turning the tide;
my hands and shoulder press uselessly against the fissures.

I am not strong enough, not brave enough, not wise enough, or patient enough;
I fear going under.

Ronda R. Scott-Marak
© 25 August 2016

Roll Call (Sound Off)

Not even a week past Independence Day and just look at the wake of violence, of murder, of hate!

We are born to die,
but first we are actually supposed to live:

Infants and elderly, parents and children,
travellers and home-bound, scientists and wildlife,
students and teachers, shoppers and merchants,
performers and attendees, players and workers,
police force, and fire-fighters, judges and juries,
homeless and wealthy, fortunate and needy,
doctors and nurses, flight attendants and pilots,
civilians and military, first responders and injured.

Black, white, red, brown or yellow, mixed race or ‘pure’,
native or ex-pat, indigenous or migrant,
Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Atheist, Agnostic, Pagan, Pantheist or Jew
all deserve to live in safety before their ultimate finish.

No one anywhere should have the right to determine when and how another ends.

We may be born to die, but we have taught ourselves to usurp Death’s purview.

This has got to end before we retrogress and guarantee Humanity’s untimely End!

Ronda R. Scott-Marak

© 8 July 2016

No Satisfaction...

(With thanks to Keith Richards and Sir Michael Jagger)

I can’t anymore:

Can’t think

Can’t cope

Can’t act

Can’t hope

Can’t fantasise

I wish I could lose the ability to dream:

Can’t rest

Can’t heal

Almost awake

Unceasingly just feel

Always on the edge of achievement

I want to stop waiting:

Waiting for calm

Waiting for ease

Waiting for order

Waiting for peace

Waiting to actually live and not subsist

Ronda R. Scott-Marak

© 23 June 2016

Animus

“Momma always said that hate was a strong, strong word."

"Poppa always said that words of hate should not be used.”

(With thanks to Tyrone Wells)

I am so tired of hatred.

I am exhausted by name calling, shit slinging, vein emptying, sabre rattling, and cross burning.

I feel beaten down by duelling liturgies, witnesses and testimonies of faith and doubt.
I have become distrusting of conviction, troubled by fealty, 

and wary of true believers.

I am afraid of the undertow;
I am horrified by the lessening of compromise, 

and the evermore rapidly rancorous rhetoric.

I want a return to caring about each other, 

a place where people actually communicated,
to a time when people realised there were others on the other side of the phone, 

the screen, the argument, the World.

We lost that long ago… the ability to converse, to commune, 

to share… or to politely disagree.

Ronda R. Scott-Marak

© 15 June 2016

”Within you…Without you… Tomorrow Never Knows”

(With thanks to George Harrison, John Lennon, and Sir Paul McCartney)

Close your eyes and open the inner recesses of your mind.

What do you find in its shadows;
pockets of doubt, pockets of fear, pockets of hate?

Do you feel the presence of loss, of peace, of love?

What do you hear in the silence;
oceans, birdsong, tears?

Do you seek answers, or questions?

What season, what place, what time;
yesterday, tomorrow, or today?

What do you sense in the darkness;
Danger, sadness, calm?

Does the quiet overwhelm you, or are you lulled by the rhythm of your heart?

Is it darkness that hides behind your eyelids, 
or do you see the explosive colours of Life?

Do you breathe out, or merely breathe it all in?

What do you see; are you still looking out, or are you truly looking in?

Ronda R. Scott-Marak

©12 June 2016 (after Orlando)